Soap is not a condiment
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
