Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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