Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
