I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize