check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
