i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
