just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
