don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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