she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I am available for nakedness
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
