Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
