So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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