ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
be right there i have to get my cape
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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