Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
