Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
