She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
