i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
