Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize