Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
