But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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