hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
