remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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