i need an iv and a liver transplant
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
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she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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