I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
my penis made a compromise with my morals
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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