is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
