I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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