I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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