I haven't been this sober since birth.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
