ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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