oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
