I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
