Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
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Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?