You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
