So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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