Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!