And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
