That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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