So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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