my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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