I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
