I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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