she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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