I must be too annoying 4 u.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
