I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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