i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
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