Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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