I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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