Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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