I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
