I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
