oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
