his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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