I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
