im about as happy as oj after his trial
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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