This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
