bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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