I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
