so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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