Me too!
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
