can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
