Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
