addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize