What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
