Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize