After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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