Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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