My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
